3 posts from January 2008

Has this ever happened to you?

You meet a girl, hit it off, and in an hour or two you have her moaning unabashedly while you’re kissing her neck and you're trying to figure out how to unhook her bra. 

Next scene: she’s out the door, and you’re staring into space, mentally kicking yourself for failing in what clearly seems to be a problem among the male population: the difficulty in unhooking your girl’s bra.

In the past, I’ve had difficulties and kicked myself for being such klutz, but with a bit of research and a whole lot of practice, I’ve been snapping and unhooking those bras with a very small rate of failure ever since. Although it would be great to have her tearing her clothes off – bra included - more often than not, it’s you -  yes, you the man – who has to free her from her boob-y traps. 

But first, you have to know the enemy: the bra.

What the heck is that contraption that has made your life a living hell?

According to the great resource, the WIKIPEDIA, the Bra or the brassiere, “is an article of clothing that covers, supports, and elevates the breasts”. It evolved from the corset (respect to the men of the middle ages who had to deal with the corset!), and is used mainly as an undergarment unless you’re Madonna who’s made bras out of cones.

Browse a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and you’ll be amazed at the kinds of bras splashed on the pages but no matter how padded or how plunging it is, or how hot Adriana Lima is - it all seems trivial to the case at hand: whether or not the clasp is in front or at the back.

Front clasps are pretty easy to remove, even the ladies will agree – but the process is awkward since it’ll be obvious to the lady in front of you that you want some under the shirt action (note to self: make sure she’s given you ALL the signs she wants some action too)

Now the back clasp – that’s a different story all together.

Two ways to Unhook a Bra

There are two ways to unhook a bra: the two handed method, and the ever popular, but hard to master, one handed method.
 

The Two Handed Method

Using your left hand, grab the eyes side (where the hooks latch on), and with your right hand grab the other side – the hook. Pull both ends together to loosen the hooks, and then twist your right hand (still holding the hooks) to about 45 degrees, and voila, her bra is unhooked.
 

The One Handed Method

Many have tried, but only few are successful (judging on the amount of resource material available on the internet). The One Handed Method requires practice, dexterity of hands, and full knowledge of what lies beneath her shirt. No amount of blah blah can substitute the real thing, so here's a video for you to learn from:

(can't view the video? click here -> VideoJug: How To Undo Her Bra With One Hand)

Dry your tears now, wasn't that awesome?

Playboy has a cool blue print-like demonstration of how to unhook a bra - Click to continue.

A few tips when unhooking her bra:

• Make sure she’s given you signs she wants you to remove her bra. If she shows no resistance when you graze or touch her breasts while still wearing her shirt (at least two times), there’s a big chance she’ll allow the removal of her bra.

•  Women are victims of their own boob-y traps – they also have a difficult time removing or putting on their bras, so if you fumble the first time, don’t lose hope. Distract her by kissing her ears, or biting her neck, and start once again.

• Practice on a friend, preferably a girl. Practice on a chair, a single couch, on a teddy bear. Like all other skills, practice makes perfect.

• No means no. If she shows resistance when you first try to unhook her bra, stop and continue to distract her. If after a while you try to do it again, and she still resists, then by all means, stop. It may not be your lucky night after all.

• Make her WANT to do it.

There’s nothing sadder in the world than to see a guy fumbling to unhook a girl's bra. Don’t you envy those who have accessed the goods trapped beneath those bras, and have since being doing this to a hundred of bra-wearing ladies? (some don’t wear bras) If women can practice on popsicle sticks to give you the best head of your life, then you should be able to return the favor and snap those hooks in seconds.

Practice, practice, practice - and you may well be on your way of perfecting the art of unhooking a bra.

other sources:

Wiki After Dark

Another cool video to unhook her bra

It’s not easy to be a man.

From battling teenage acne, failing to get a date for prom, having your mother watching over your shoulder + nagging, to finally getting a date and waiting for her to get done fixing herself up for 2 hours now, and getting a job you so obviously hate - a man’s life isn’t easy.

Man, however, wasn't born to be wimpy, and he has created tools to make life easier. Here are just some "tools" you men (and the ladies) might find useful:

 
1. MagWear - Handyman's Helper Magnetic Wristband

You have all the shiny tools - but they keep getting scattered all over the floor when you're trying to fix something - don't you just hate it when you lose that final screw and you have to find every nook and cranny of your workplace for it? I know I do, and the Magnetic Wristband has an incredibly strong magnet to keep your tools in place - according to the the website spoonsisters.com, "it’s so strong you can actually pile the hardware on in layers". Everyone can use this - no matter how thick your wrist is - coz it uses velcro for straps. Eat your heart out Martha Stewart (I'm sure she uses one too)

2. Big Universal Remote Control

Women don't understand  our penchant for sticking our asses on that couch to watch the boobtube. Often though, a lot of time is spent looking for the remote control. With Solutions.com's Big Universal Remote Control, those days are over. No more wasted time looking for the remote control - it's too big for you not to see it (and too big to get hidden in-between the pillows on your couch). Plus since it's universal, you don't have to retain several remote controls for the dvd, the sound system.. and the list goes on.

Just one big ass remote control for your  electronic devices.

ThinkGeek.com brings us the next tool to make a man's life easier.

3. Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker

Whether it's a date, an appointment, a flight or any schedule where you HAVE to be there - the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker will guarantee you wake up on time to get there ON TIME. This alarm clock from the folks at thinkgeek has a bed shaker feature and if you don't get up with enough shakes, the volume alarm can get as loud as a jackhammer - and more (113 decibels, 3 decibels more than a jackhammer). Snooze function available. Mr. Punctual you are!
4. Dear Cab Driver Napkins

We tend to forget that the human body can only drink so much alcohol and during those times we resemble a slug crawling the ground, these dear dab driver napkins will "hopefully" bring us to our places. Pray that payment has been made by the one who hailed the taxi, or on the way home, you've regained your ability to differentiate a dollar from a benjamin.

Last but not the least...

5. Rear-View Computer Mirror

How many times have you been caught by your boss sending personal emails or browsing youtube, or you've been caught by the girlfriend checking out a porn site? Never fear, the rear-view computer mirror is here! Don't you just hate people who look over your shoulder? This nifty tool functions as the eyes at the back of your head when you're busy doing something you're not supposed to be doing. It gives you a wide angle view of who's snooping behind your back, or when the boss comes in the door. It attaches to your computer via velcro (another great tool that made mankind's life easier).

To be a man, confronted with the difficulties of life. Good thing there are some smarties born within the population who make these tools, and make life easier.

How about you? What tools have made your life easier?

Pictures are from the following sites:

http://www.spoonsisters.com
http://solutions.com
http://thinkgeek.com

Who doesn’t love the holidays? Aside from the normal stressful activities associated with the holidays, you can’t discount the fact the holidays are just another reason for everyone to celebrate and drink! To celebrate the new year, my friends and I went to a college friend's mansion (yes he has one, and all I have is a dinky studio apartment, tell me is life not unfair?) where we welcomed 2008 with a bang!

For everyone's who's had to wake up in the morning after a night of drinking, nothing compares to the feeling of a dry throat, a head full of lead, and a sour taste to your tongue - Hangovers are inevitable when you're drinking. There are really no fast fixes for hangovers and as they say, prevention is always better than cure, so when you’re about to party hard just remember the four B's:

B – Burger

Eat a burger before drinking. You want to take in a lot of carbohydrates to soak up the alcohol you’re about to drink – this in turn will lessen the effects of the alcohol on you. Less alcohol absorbed = less sorry of a hangover you’ll have in the morning. Bread is good too.

B – Bathroom

The line may be long, but frequently relieving yourself can help pace you when drinking and naturally, flush the alcohol from your body. We’re only human, and we can’t process more than ounce of alcohol per hour – so take that trip to the bathroom.

B – Bloody Mary

No, you don’t have to chant in front of a mirror, you just have to make it. Popularly known as the “hair of the dog”, this concoction has vodka, tomato juice, and a variety of herbs and spices  to lessen the effects of your hangover. It’s very simple and takes only a few minutes to make (provided you can find the ingredients in your kitchen!).

B – Bananas

Bananas are a good source of potassium which you lose when you drink. They also have fructose and a great source of energy. Force yourself to eat one before going out for the night, and after taking a drink of the bloody mary.

Bottomline: moderate your drinking so your hangover will suck less – and just stick to one drink please – you’ll feel better in the morning, and your liver will thank you for it.